The thing is, he's not slept well there since he's started and I've had a hard times going through the emotions of it all. I'm tired and that doesn't help. Jack has counseled me to go to bed and to know that the Lord will take care of the situation. I should probably take his advice, but I guess in some way I'm throwing a pity party about it. It doesn't feel like anything good is going to come of the situation. It just feels bad. And sad. And wrong. But Jack's right. I was reading Monica Klepac's blog tonight. She is a missionary in Romania with the Word Made Flesh organization. We got connected with them through our church in Kentucky. She wrote a really insightful post about Mary. In it, she writes,
"Like Mary, Mother Teresas amazing witness came from the fact that she never let go. She never gave up. In the darkness of doubt and loneliness and questioning, she kept on loving Jesus in his distressing disguise.
And that is what gives me some light on my path. Maybe i can hang on too. Maybe God is bigger than my fears and worries. Maybe that same Spirit that is in Mary can dwell in me too."
So I don't feel like believing and pressing into God. But I know that if I do, He is faithful and He will see me through it. We'll see what He will do for my baby boy and me.