Freakishly good

One of my really sweet and really hilarious friends recently asked me over some enchiladas, "Do you ever feel like a freak because you are such a good mom?  I mean... in a good way?"

My answer was NO ABSOLUTELY NEVER.  In fact, I almost daily struggle with feelings of inadequacy and failure.  Absolutely never do I feel like I'm such a good mom that it's freakish.

Not even close.

But I've been thinking about it ever since, and in the meantime, my friend keeps the jokes coming about my super mom status.

Little does she know.  She doesn't see me when I lose it with my children who choose not to listen to me.  She doesn't see (or smell) behind my toilet.  I haven't done really virtuous things like homeschooling or adoption.  I don't bake my own kid's birthday cakes.  I've missed chapels, forgotten homework, hurt feelings, and the list goes on.  And don't even get me started about the laundry. 

There's a whole lot of things that I'm not good at and I've yet to learn, but my friend's jokes remind me that just because I don't bake well and I'm not crafty and I don't do things that other moms are really good at, there are important lessons in the midst of this journey of mine:

1.  I am uniquely made to do this job that only I can do.  

I may not be able to french braid with ease, but I can take a picture of my daughter's hair in the sunlight.  I can't bake, but I have faithfully celebrated each birthday with my children with great love.  I don't home school per se, but I am teaching my children to memorize scripture at home.  I can't sing really well and I'm not good at public speaking, but my kids have been soothed by my little songs more times than I can count.  Maybe my children don't need me to learn to sew or decorate or keep a perfect house, but instead, like April Perry says in her article, "Your Children Want You," they just need me.  And maybe that's enough.  Sort of.  Really, what they need is me, unique and special me, but a new-creation-in-Jesus type of unique and special me. 

2.  I can only do my job well in as much as I ask the Lord for help.

Lately, Psalm 23's third verse has been lingering in my heart:

"He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

The Lord is my Good Shepherd, leading me on righteous paths: through the carpool line, down the grocery store aisle, to the bookshelf.  For His name sake, for His renown and honor, I am becoming the mother He has called me to be.   When I neglect prayer and my relationship with Him, I usually fall on my face.  But in that broken place, I always find His kindness that leads me to repentance.  My feet are set, yet again, on the paths of righteousness that He has laid out for me.

So yeah, my house is dirty and no, I'm not some kind of really awesome and put together or completely self-sacrificial mom, but maybe I'm still a freakishly good mom.  In a good way.

In fact, if you're navigating this motherhood road with Jesus, so are you.  

With the Lord as our shepherd, how could we not be? 

I guess we're all just a bunch of freaks...

 (in the best way).