One night toward the end of the week, someone asked one of the girls in another church group what she had learned that week at camp. She was holding a glow stick and made a profound connection right there on the spot. "I learned that people are a lot like this glow stick," she said. "They have a lot of potential, but they don't work (shine?) until they're broken."
|Love this crew!|
I thought camp in the mountains was going to be easy and fun and mountain-toppy.
Granted, Colorado in the summer is gorgeous and mountain biking was one of the most fun things I've ever done. I developed a love for and a relationship with all the kids from our church which was and is supremely wonderful. But I realized very quickly that this was going to be hard. And that I was going to be broken.
From day #1 as a parent, you are no longer the kind of person that can leisurely stay up late without consequences so you don't. Maybe every now and then you stay up a little past 11:00, but that is only because it is a VERY special occasion. You think it's adorable how people might go to a concert that starts at 10:00, but you would never even consider it. So that first night when we stayed up really late I realized that while I may be starting to come out of life-with-small-children, I'm still there. I am way out of practice with staying up past midnight and definitely staying up past midnight a lot of nights in a row. And it broke me a little bit.
And besides the lack of sleep, I realized just how introverted I've become over the years. The lack of time alone broke me a little bit.
And besides all the togetherness, I was grieving all week having just lost my grandmother. It broke me a little more.
And besides the grief, Anna Grace got sick and my boys at home were at home and I missed them and I almost fell to pieces one night. More breaking.
So I was broken, stretched, tired, and short-fused through much of the week but as another one of the kids said to me that week (what is it with amazing insights of teenagers one minute and really corny laughs the next?), our God is SURPRISINGLY CONSISTENT through it all. He's right. The Lord surprised me with a valley experience on the mountain, but He is surprisingly consistent- faithful through it all. Looking back, I learned that when He calls me to do something for Him, it might be beautiful and back-breaking all at the same time. In fact, it probably will be.
So yes, mountain camp broke me, but hopefully I can shine brighter these days for it.
After I catch up on some sleep of course.