Thursday, October 27, 2016

it's who he is

Say what you will about Jack Chaney.  He can be exceedingly inappropriate just to get a laugh.  He isn't the best at fixing things around the house.  We argue and we get frustrated with each other.  He "forgets" to take out the trash sometimes.

But if you're hurting, he'll sit with you and listen and ask you questions and point you to the Creator God who made shadows move backwards and made iron float and who made everything out of nothing and who experienced suffering and death because He loves us.  He'll sit with you and he'll do that because God made him a Jonathon, a friend, and he lives that out well.  And so I'm proud to call him my husband.  

Monday, October 17, 2016

in my dreams

In my dream last night I was taking my camera to this beautiful snowy-mountain overlook (after I swam with some dolphins in a swimming pool of course) but before I could take a picture, I was pummeled by an avalanche.  I was so scared under the weight of all that snow but I heard the voice of one of my mentors telling me that all I could do was dig dig dig my way out and scream for help.  So that's what I did. And that's what I'm going to do having buried myself under a pile of work in real life.  I'm going to finish up and dig out and then ask for help and re-order things so I don't get buried again.

Aren't dreams so crazy like that? 

Sunday, October 16, 2016

rainbow grasshopper moments

A little over a week ago I was sitting alone dressed for dinner and waiting for Jack while watching the biggest grasshopper I've ever seen try to escape from an attacking bird.  The old couple sitting on the edge of the dock noticed the fight and the old man walked up the beach to shoo it away.  He had told me about London earlier that day and how he lived near Heathrow Airport and all about the Concord that doesn't fly but sits there and looks pretty.   So the man walked back down the beach to sit with his wife again and another lady walks by and of course the old man stops her because he's chatty.  Then a little cloud dropped a little rainbow and it was the end of the day and it was so beautiful.

I need more rainbow grasshopper moments in my life- a realization that hit like a ton of bricks when I came back to my highly over-scheduled life.

I'm gonna work on that.

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day."  E.B. White

Sunday, October 9, 2016


"There are times when we stop.  We sit still... We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper."  James Carroll

He leads me beside still waters
He restores my soul. Psalm 23:2-3

Saturday, October 8, 2016

gimme a break

I don't even have a picture of it (and that hurts my heart) but I was a mermaid today floating in a Mexican reef.  The coral that looked like thin slices of a human lung and the coral that looked like a thousand fingers swayed to some underwater invisible music.  I saw conch shells so big- surely they were fake- but no, the huge snaily mollusk was still burrowed in.  Ancient starfish sat unassumingly on the ocean floor and I held a squiggly baby starfish in the palm of my raisin-fingered hand.  And then there was a stingray and I think I saw the Pout Pout fish and I definitely found Dory and then there was the fish who looked like he was all dressed up for an LSU game.

I read a novel.  

Jack and I have had a couple smallish spats but mostly we've laughed and it just feels good- the back of his head in my hand when we're waiting for an airplane or waking up next to him for the ten thousandth time but and still loving him and his sleepy grin.

I feel like I have a "thanks" and a "I'm sorry" in my heart about it.

Thanks to Creator God for an underwater theater and for beautiful places like Mexico.  Thanks to amazing grandparents who make this kind of marriage retreat possible, thanks to kids for recognizing that we need a deep breath and a parental time-out sometimes (this may be a preemptive thank you, but that brings me to my "sorry.")

My "I'm sorry" would go to my mother for whom this kind of thing would have been perfect.  I wish she could have come here with my dad in the middle of raising us four kids and teaching school and all of it.  She worked so hard- harder than me- and now I get it.  I wish I could go back and tell my 10 year old self to have a car wash fundraiser - SOMETHING- to send my parents to Mexico.

But it turns out I haven't come across a time machine (yet) so my thank you's and I'm sorry's will have to do for now.

Moral of the story (and there is always a moral in a Mexican story), mamas work hard so send them to Mexico (or the next town over with a B&B or SOMETHING) and give them a break.

I am so so thankful for mine.